Tuesday, November 17

Ignorance is Bliss?

Sometimes I like to keep things simple so I don’t get too attached to something, too spoiled. That is why I refuse to make a lot of money. When my last company offered to double my pay, I said, no, no, kind company, I am comfortable with the way things are. I would not want to buy a lot of really great clothing at all, and I simply enjoy eating lean cuisines, and do not want to get attached to fancy restaurants. When my parents offered me private school in Europe with my own jet, I said, Mummy and Daddy, what would Simsbury High School do without me? I would not want to get too comfortable outside of Connecticut, especially since we all know I will be moving back home to Simsbury at least twice in my twenties, which brings me to my main example, my living situation.

After college, I moved home and took an unrealistic, at least outside of suburbia, amount of time to move into my own apartment. When I did I lived in a place that had holes in the window screens, terrible parking, and eventually a ferret that my roommate surprised me with. My roommate had to sacrifice having a closet because there just was not one in her room. She used the hall closet instead. The basement was a dark and damp storage area with a cage so large I can only assume it was for sole use of a gimp, oh and the oil tank that frequently ran out of oil mid winter at below zero temperatures. Thank you, Viking oil, for never once understanding the term ‘automatic refill.’

My next apartment was a step up, I’d like to think. We got a third roommate and suddenly all the bills were split more and there is nothing better than that. Though the window screens still had holes, the parking situation was much better and our landlord changed from a woman with child, -( “No phone calls after 8PM please” and “change your own light bulb, my child is crying.” I am kidding about calling to ask for a light bulb to be changed. To be fair, I am not kidding at all. I was young and naive )– to a single, woman lawyer who was borderline mean, but efficient and very clear from day one, which you have to appreciate. When our dryer left our clothing as though it never saw the dryer, she replaced it right away, with a dryer that left our clothing as though it saw the dryer, but then got scared of the machine and crumpled in a ball in corner. Our dishwasher worked, provided you cleaned the dishes completely before putting them in and because we were all broke we kept the heat around 50 degrees all winter long, Gas heat now, a huge improvement from oil. Life was good, but I wanted more. That was when I decided not to re-sign my lease and move to New York City. (I said that like the salsa commercial from a few years ago- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgrGyR6EYbY)

That’s right, New York City. I would love to tell you I went and follow it up with all my misadventures in the big apple. But, that plan eventually fell through and when the lease was up I had no choice but to move BACK HOME WITH MY PARENTS. Meanwhile, the rent was higher than ever, since the cost was pure love and affection- which I gave plenty of. The cons to this situation are obvious, feeling like a loser, having to tell people I lived at home, etc., ETC.. The pros, however, were great, my own bathroom, a cleaning lady who cleaned it and an amazing kitchen that I could bake and bake and bake some more in. I was living in 2 parts luxury, 1 part misery and just a splash of total embarrassment.

Eventually it was time to move on. My friend was buying a condo and needed a roommate. She helps me out, I help her out. It was the perfect deal. The place would be more money than I had ever spent before, and I knew my friend was very clean, so I would work harder at being clean than ever before. The benefits, however, made it all worth it. I had my own bathroom that I got to decorate, my bedroom was bigger than it had ever been, than I had ever imagined. I even got my own garage spot, and not like the “garage spot” at my first place, the one that everyone in the building pushed on each other, because if you parked there, you may never get out of the driveway, due to other cars and cumulating snow –“Plow your own snow, my baby just pooped.” The kitchen, the living room, the finished basement that a gimp would simply never live in, the place was and is amazing and I am so glad I moved here.

My only nagging thought is, ‘what next?’ Could I live without my own bathroom and garage spot after this? Could I go back to freezing sleep wearing all the clothes in the apartment, at least the ones that had dried on the hanging rack, just to keep warm at night? I guess only time will tell and for now let me just thank goodness I got a new job so that I can continue to afford this extravagant lifestyle I have acquired. Excuse me for now, the butler just told me someone is at the door.


Becky said...

Hilarious post as usual. I am so glad you are liking your new place! And good luck being cleaner -- it's hard!

Anonymous said...

I am the gimp who was living in your basement, and I find this article offensive to gimps everywhere. I mean it is actually a nice old house in West Hartford, and I still enjoy living there.

FYI - I think your room is getting a bit messy.

Anonymous said...

This is the gimp that was lving in your basement, and I find this article offensive to gimps everywhere. This really is a nice old West Hartford house with lots of character, and I still enjoy living here (in the cage in the basement).

Anonymous said...

Sorry - I thought the first comment did not publish - so I re-did it - oh well, you get the point!

-The Gimp

Becky said...

Dear Sensitive Sally,

I demand more blog posts!

Love, Your Faithful Reader and Number One Fan

PS Can't wait to see you soon!!!