Thursday, June 24

The Story of George and his Dirty, Dirty Paperwork

I am not going to sugar coat this for anyone.

You know it.  I know it.   And the guy you caught doing it- He knows it, too. 

It's weird to read in the bathroom at work.

Yesterday, as I walked out of the lady's room, a certain someone else was walking out of the men's room at that very moment.

"Oh hey, Georg- uh" Look down, smile, blush, walking faster. Did my jaw really just drop?  I hope he didn't notice, but come on- that's GROSS!

Why was Geroge holding paper work and a pen as he came out of the bathroom?  Not only does this force me to wonder why, but also to wonder what he did with it, and ultimately to get a mental picture of the whole horrible ordeal!

Maybe he just put it on the counter as he stopped to use the facilities on the way to a meeting.  Worse- maybe he put it on the floor next to his feet. (I wonder which way they were pointing- ohhh grosssss)  Even worse- and most likely the sick truth- He read the report I had just given him and marked it up with a poop pen!  My god, a Poop Pen!

At this point I am devastated.  Not only have I unmasked this sickening truth about George, but it could have been my report that he put on the floor when he needed free hands. 

I cannot get it out of my head.

I am sure I'll get over it eventually, especially with the beauty of email eliminating the chance of me ever coming into contact with that particular report.

ButT, I'll always have that mental picture-

George, the paperwork- the bathroom door swinging back and forth, back and forth in slow motion, my jaw dropping, eyes popping and that tiny, barely there, look of total shame in George's eyes as he looked from me to the paperwork to the small brass sign reading "MEN", when we both knew the real writing on the wall said, "I know what you did...sicko"

Painful silence ensued on the walk back to the office area.   There was just nothing left to say...

Some Other Work Bathroom No-Nos
*Talking on your phone while inside a stall- Weird.  Awkward for the rest of us and please understand we  are going to laugh about you later.

*Yoga- Deep breathing- enough said.

*Chatter involving anything more than 'hello, how are you?'- Don't expect an answer.  We're here for one thing and one thing only, and it's not to hear about the quilt you knitted for your cat.

*Not washing your hands- If you're guilty, know this- There is fecal matter ALL OVER the door, the stall, the everything- start washing!!!

Do you have a work bathroom story to share?  Leave a comment! ;) 

(Unless you're George- I know enough.)


Becky said...

I definitely agree with your bathroom no-nos! I do take issue with your disgust of George though because I do this all the time! But it's not because I am reading or anything gross, I am usually on my way to or from a meeting and happen to have my notebook with me. I leave it on the sink counter, I swear!!! After reading your post, I got so paranoid that people think the same of me as you thought of George! Eeeek! :) XO

Scott said...

Not sure which one is worse:

A) At my old office I was washing my hands when my boss walks in, opens a stall door, then starts a work related convo with me. 5 minutes later, while carrying out this convo in the most awkward location i'm thinking "can't this wait till we're back in the office?"

B) At my current office, I'm in the bathroom when I hear the door open. My co-worker proceeds to walk up to the stall door I'm in and say "Scott, are you in there?" I kid you not, probably the most awkward moment of my life. Well, he just needed to know if I was free that afternoon for a meeting. He's from Columbia so maybe that's standard there? Cultural differences? Am I grasping at straws? Does this take the cake?